saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
