Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
