i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
