GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
