I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
