hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
