I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
