happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
