I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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