eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
