in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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