Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
