I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
