I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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