she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
