I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
