Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
