omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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