I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
