If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
