I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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