Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
