I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize