Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
