i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
