Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
