You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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