I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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