Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think i got beer on your cat.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
