don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
