New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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