it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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