I hope mine doesn't look like that
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
