Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
