Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
