Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
