You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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