Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
