32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
