I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
And then he peed in my hair
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