did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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