i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
