Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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