I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i think i just lost a toe
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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