this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
