Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
