Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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