forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
