remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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