So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
