considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I am naked and annoyed.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
