I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
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so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
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I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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