On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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