i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
