Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
