Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize