i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
