Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This is the high leading the old right now
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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