he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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