Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
