I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
And then he peed in my hair
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