He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
