ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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