Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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