is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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