Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
