eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
cat food counts as protein by the way
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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