i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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