I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Everyone says I win the strip club
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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