He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
