I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
