its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
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He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
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I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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