So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
